My tryst with the college internet

Imagine sitting in front of one of the college computers say in the Opal CC or in iLab (you can safely assume that people on either side of you are shamelessly ogling at your screen). You are in the middle of a seemingly endless wait for some harmless webpage to open. Suddenly you find that the level of interest shown by the people gaping at your screen has soared sharply.

You find yourself for a moment stunned beyond speech as you look at the admonishing message on the screen that chides you for trying to open the page. The reason? 'Pornography(Malaysian)', 'Pornography(Italian)', 'Pornography(Japanese)'. By the way, how can a page have porn content in all these languages?

As you are pondering about this, you suddenly get the sense to minimise the window. You look at the people on the either side having reproving expressions. You give a bleak smile wishing you would vanish right now to a place far far away, say probably close to the Sahara Desert.

Oh! You do get used to it after a couple of such embarrassing encounters. Trust me, experience speaks.

PS : Right now, I'm trying to achieve the enviable feat of being at the receiving end of all such messages. Who knows, my name may feature in the " 'REC' book of records "

I was travelling in a bus from the railway station to my college.
The following is the conversation I had with the lady sitting beside me:

LADY : endha college (which college?)

ME : (trying not to sound too proud)NIT

LADY :???

ME : (correcting myself)REC

LADY :oh! endha ooru?Kerala va? (which place are you from?Kerala?)

Anki : (snigger,snigger ,snigger)

ME : (fuming and thinking) everyone knows our college is filled with mallus and more mallus and more mallus...

ME : (telling her)illa ... chennai (No... chennai)

The lady first looks at me as though I am a mentally retarded person.Then her expression changes to pity and she asks

LADY : en ma chennai-la evalo nalla college-lam irruku ... Sathyabama , Jeppiar college ... edhuluyame seat kadaikalaiya? ( There are so many good colleges in chennai like sathayabama,jeppiar college etc. Didn't you get admission in any of them?)

ME : (no words coming out of my mouth)um... um ... um

Anki: (by now red with laughter snigger,snigger,more snigger)

LADY : (unmindful of the laughter and discomfort continues proudly) en ponnu sathyabama college-la padikara (My daughter studies in sathyabama college)

ME :(fervently praying the bus reaches my college soon)oh appadiya! (Oh ! Is that so?)

As soon I caught the first glimpse of the college from the bus, I rushed from my seat to the door ... not because I was eager to get back but because I'd been embarrased enough for the day.

PS 1: You might be wondering why I've written the conversation in Tamil and then translated it... well as HT says : things sound more embarrasing in tamil ...(HT : tamil-la sonna dhan oru punch irrukum)

PS 2 : ....

PS 3 : nothing ... I love PS3